Coping with Grief and Loss After a Suicide
Navigating the Path of Healing: Coping with Grief After a Loved One's Suicide
Losing someone to suicide is a deeply devastating experience that can leave us grappling with a range of emotions and questions. Although every person is unique people may begin to feel immense shock of disbelief, especially in the initial stages following the loss of a loved one. This may be accompanied by profound grief, a heavy sadness that brings forth an ache and a pervasive sense of emptiness. Guilt is another frequent emotion, with survivors frequently questioning whether they could have acted differently to prevent the tragedy, even when their actions were not causative. People may experience anger, directed towards the deceased, the circumstances, or oneself, which can be difficult to process, especially when intertwined with confusion and a feeling of helplessness.
The persistent "why" can become a haunting query, as survivors struggle to make sense of the decision and battle with unanswered questions. At times people may feel a sense of regret, even focusing on missed opportunities, unspoken words, or unfinished deeds, exacerbated by the lack of closure.
Shame is another strong feeling that may arise, which stems from the societal stigma attached to suicide, prompting survivors to grapple with discussing the cause of death openly or sharing their emotions. Complex feelings of relief intertwined with guilt can emerge in cases where the deceased faced prolonged suffering or mental health struggles, resulting in relief that the person is free from pain but accompanied by guilt over this relief.
Amidst this emotional turmoil, isolation can occur as survivors wrestle with navigating grief that feels isolating and incomprehensible to those around them. Numbness may be a response too, serving as a protective mechanism against the overwhelming emotions that flood in. Longing, a deep ache to reunite with the lost individual or understand their motivations, often lingers.
It is crucial to acknowledge that these emotional responses are natural reactions to an exceptionally challenging situation.
Losing a loved one is one of the hardest, most emotionally challenging situations a person can face. Here are some things we would suggest to help you heal from the loss of a loved one.
1. Feel Your Feelings
The aftermath of a suicide can bring about a rollercoaster of emotions, each as valid as the next. You might feel shock, anger, guilt, sadness, and even relief. It's essential to acknowledge these emotions rather than suppress them. Talking to someone you trust or seeking professional help can provide an outlet for these feelings, helping you gradually come to terms with your loss.
2. Avoid Self-Blame
Guilt is a common reaction when someone dies by suicide. You might find yourself wondering if you could have done something differently. Remember that suicide is a result of complex factors, often involving mental health struggles. Instead of blaming yourself or others, try to focus on the positive memories and experiences you shared with your loved one. If guilt becomes overwhelming, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional.
3. Professional Support
Grieving after a suicide is a unique journey that might require specialised help. Mental health professionals, psychologists, social workers and peer support groups that specialise in suicide loss can offer a safe space to share your thoughts and emotions. These experts can guide you through the complexities of grief and provide tools to help you cope.
4. Prioritise Self-Care
Amidst the turmoil of grief, taking care of yourself is not a luxury but a necessity. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and regular physical activity can positively impact your emotional well-being. Engaging in activities that bring you joy can help alleviate the emotional pain. Remember that healing takes time, so be patient and gentle with yourself.
5. Connect with Others
Connecting with others who have experienced a similar loss can provide a profound sense of understanding and support. Online or in-person support groups offer a platform to share stories, gain advice, and foster connections with people who truly comprehend your emotions.
Such as:
https://jss.org.au/programs/support-after-suicide/
https://suicideline.org.au/bereaved-by-suicide/accessing-support-after-a-suicide/
https://www.compassionatefriendsvictoria.org.au/need-support/support-groups/
https://www.grief.org.au/ga/ga/Support/Support_Groups.aspx
Healing is not a linear process, and it's natural to have ups and downs. Reach out for help when needed, and remember that taking care of yourself is essential throughout this journey.